The Road To Happiness

How many of you have ever just felt so low and so angry that everything just gets you down or irritates you? Welcome to my world. Everyday, small insignificant things really wind me up. It could be messing up my eyeliner or more recently the gym being packed. These things infuriate me so much and for what reason? I have no idea. So, if you have ever felt this way then lets make a pact to change this for 2013.

Let me start by going over a few things that have happened this week just so you can get an idea as to why I am annoyed.

So some of you may know about my plans to move to Canada and how my boyfriend is already out there, if you read my New Years Resolutions Post. Now that has all changed. Due to some major stupidity on behalf of two companies (whom we will be suing) my boyfriend is no longer over there and is back here with me (yippee!) or so I thought. This week has been super stressful and I've been driven nuts over this Canada thing, that I have been the moodiest person EVOHR. I have taken everything out on my boyfriend and this needs to change for his sake and mine.

We are still hoping to get out to Canada and should have no problems to be honest but the most stressful thing is time. I am fed up living here and from what I have heard from my boyfriend, Canada is the place for us. Career wise and lifestyle wise. I feel the reason I have been so angry is the fact that we waited so long to get him out to Canada and once he was out there things felt great, we felt like things were happening and going to plan and now it feels (to me) like we are back to square one.

Now let me explain why I am so annoyed about being here in Ireland for possibly longer than intended.

I currently feel like I am in a downward spiral that is hard to come out of. I have suffered with depression and anxiety before and I still have social anxiety to a certain extent. As I have mentioned before, I am not the type of person that likes to go out and get hammered. I much prefer nights in or going out for meals or to the cinema, or dancing as I have also mentioned. As I do not enjoy drinking or partying till all hours, I find it difficult to fit in sometimes. If you are Irish then you may understand this, every celebration is based around drinking. Someones birthday? Drinking. Someone dies? Drinking. Someone sneezes? Drinking. You catch my drift? The majority of people my age (20 soon to be 21 :])enjoy this and I find that if you don't like going out getting drunk these people find you weird.

This is beyond annoying. I am not boring nor am I a "weirdo" simply because I like waking up in my own bed and knowing how I got there, thank you very much.

This is where I start to feel the anxiety kicking in. I'll be honest, I do not have a tonne of friends as I am the type of person that if your not a true friend to me, your gone. A bit harsh? Why keep people around that don't make you happy? The past year I have found out who my proper friends are and I intend to keep them around. These friends, however, do enjoy going out drinking which is fine and I enjoy going out with them but I always feel terrible at birthdays and any type of social event. I start to feel awkward around people, like I have nothing in common with them, and almost like they are bored of me.

I also get a bit anxious heading to town on my own, or even to the gym. I have this strange fear that everyone is watching me and I need that to stop. So before this post becomes even more rambly and confusing, lets get to the point. What steps can I/you take to change these feelings of anxiety and anger?

Step 1: I would recommend going to the gym, or at least going for a long walk to clear your head, endorphin's and all that.

Step 2: Saying yes to things more. This is something I definitely have to work on as I constantly say no to things because I am terrified of meeting new people. *Must say yes, must say yes!* Zoe from Zoella actually has an amazing post on this already so I shall link her here.

Step 3: Talk to someone. I have major trouble with this and I am the time of person that will keep things in until I explode out of frustration. Let it out.

Step 4: Eat well. I always find that if I start slacking off and eating junk I feel a hell of a lot moodier than usual. So I try my hardest to eat better or at least make healthier choices. Another fave of mine is green tea, I love it! This is where the gym also brightens my mood.

Step 5: Try not to take things too seriously. You only have one life so you may as well enjoys it! :)

My apologies for this awfully rambly, and nonsensical post, I need to clarify my thoughts a bit better from now on. *Slaps wrist I do hope this was helpful in some way or at least gave you an insight into the type of person I am. Either way I hope you all enjoyed reading. :)